I do
by HR always live on
Summary: Its Lucas and Lindsey's wedding day but things go a little differently to how they played out on screen. Set S5
1. Chapter 1

Peyton sat in the church, amid all the happy guests who were celebrating this marriage and wondered if she was the only one who could see this was the wrong wedding. Lucas had hold of Lindsey's hand tightly before the altar. And all the while, both saying their vows, Peyton said nothing. Instead she just sat there and let what would happen, happen. She felt Brooke grab her hand and squeeze gently. Peyton smiled sadly at her best friend as Lindsey repeated the ministers vows, looking to all the world like she was the happiest bride in the world. And still Peyton said nothing.

This day should have belonged to her, Peyton thought sadly. She never should have turned Lucas down when he asked her to marry him. What the hell had she been thinking? If she had said yes none of this would be happening. The minister smiled at the happy couple bringing her out of her depressive thoughts. "I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." Everyone in the church smiled and clapped as Lucas kissed his new wife. Everyone except her. She felt her heart sink to the floor and she couldn't look at them anymore. When they both walked back down the aisle she stayed with her eyes trained on her feet.

Eventually everyone trailed out of the church to head to the reception but Peyton stayed seated. Brooke looked at her friend sadly. "I'm sorry Peyton," she said quietly. Peyton nodded, unable to vocalise her feelings at this moment in time. "What can I do?" Brooke added.

"Nothing," Peyton said with a sad smile. "I'm just going to sit here for a while and pray. For forgiveness and grace. I have a feeling I need a little of those today. Then I'm going home."

"You're not coming to the reception?" Brooke asked.

"If you were Lindsey would you want me there?" Peyton asked honestly. Brooke shook her head as Peyton continued. "I'm going to go home and have a good long cry. But don't let me stop you from enjoying yourself."

"Like I could when I know you're this upset," Brooke said honestly. "I'll come home with you."

"Thank you, but I'd rather be alone."

"You sure?"

"Definitely," she replied surely.

"Okay." Brooke gave her friend one last hug and then left Peyton alone in the church. It was a long time before Peyton could find the strength to get up and leave that building.

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><p><em>Will write more if there's interest. xxx<em>


	2. Chapter 2

Peyton had a long cry and a longer bath, trying to wash the memories of this awful day away. She wasn't entirely successful. Getting out of the bath, she heard the front door close quietly and knew that it was Brooke coming to check on her. Peyton wrapped a towel around her and went to see her friend. Sure enough Brooke was there with a sad look on her face. "How are you?" she asked. Peyton glared at her. "Right, stupid question."

"How are the happy couple?" Peyton asked sarcastically.

"Sorry to tell you but they're smiling and happy and have gone away to Athens for a few days.

"Great, so she steals my man, my wedding day and now she's flying to my dream holiday spot on honeymoon," Peyton said sarcastically as she opened the freezer and found a large vat of chocolate ice cream.

"Peyton, I know you hate her but this isn't her fault," Brooke said.

"I was going to let you share the ice cream, now I won't bother," Peyton said digging her spoon in. Brooke smiled and grabbed a spoon sitting opposite Peyton. "Right now, at this moment I need you to be on my side. We both know that Lindsey is a nice person but right now, I need to hate her. I need to bitch about her. And I need my best friend to help me accomplish this. So are you going to help me?"

"As long as you don't criticise her wedding dress, I'm in." Peyton laughed lightly and they spent the rest of the evening dismissing every little thing about her.

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><p>Peyton was in her office, working when the door opened. She looked up and was pleased to see Haley and Jamie come in. "Hi Jamie," Peyton said with a smile.<p>

"How are you?" Haley asked with a touch too much sadness in her voice for comfort.

"What's Brooke said to you?" Peyton asked switching the background music off.

"She's worried about you," Haley said. "She said you aren't sleeping."

"Brooke doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut," Peyton said forcefully.

"Aunt Brooke is cool!" Jamie said. Both women turned to him and saw that he was spinning around in circles on one of Peyton's office chairs. Haley smiled but then turned back to Peyton.

"I thought you should know that Lucas is back," Haley said. "Lindsey's in New York for a day or two, so if you wanted to speak to him, now is probably a good time. But he is my best friend so please don't do anything stupid."

"I don't want to see him," Peyton said. "Thank you but I don't want to see him."

"Peyton, you work in his office. You won't be able to avoid him forever," Haley said.

"Yes, but the more I put it off, the better I feel." Peyton sighed. "I don't know what to say to him. So I'm not going to bother meeting him until I have a clearer idea, or he finds me."

"Okay," Haley said simply. "Just thought I'd let you know. Come on Mr Dizzy," she added to her son. Jamie stopped spinning and hopped off the chair. He was so dizzy that he collapsed into his mothers legs before falling to the floor. Both women laughed as he tried to get up. Haley helped him and waved bye to Peyton as they shut the office door behind them. Peyton turned back to her record player and turned it up full blast. She wanted to drown out her feelings in the drum beat.

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><p><em>Reviews make me type faster! Even one worded ones, such as awful  terrible / great etc..._


	3. Chapter 3

Peyton knew it was late because the music from Tric started thumping through her office. She wasn't sure if she was staying in her office to avoid going home, or for the possibility that Lucas might show up. Looking at her watch she saw it was nearly ten in the evening. Sighing, she thought it was time to go home and she switched her computer off and picked up her keys. Just then there was a knock at the door. Her heart stopped and Lucas opened the door. She let out a quiet breath because he looked even better than she remembered.

"Hi," she said quietly. "Good honeymoon?"

"You never showed at the reception," Lucas said. "Why?"

"I was busy," she lied easily. "Had fun?"

"Yes," he said. "I've seen Brooke. She says you don't seem yourself lately."

Peyton bit back her scathing reply which was on the tip of her tongue and settled for something else in a weary tired tone. "I'm just… I've just had enough." She smiled at Lucas without humour. "Listen, you've seen me, you've done your duty now leave."

"You're my friend Peyton," he said simply.

"Am I?" she said shaking her head. "Does Lindsey know you're here?"

"She's in New York."

"So no," Peyton surmised. "I don't think your wife would be happy with you having a private conversation with your ex while she's in a different state."

"You're my friend," he repeated quietly. "I wanted to see how you are. I want to make sure you're okay."

"No Lucas!" she shouted walking a couple of steps closer to him. "I am not okay! And I think it is going to be a long time before I am okay. But you can't help me overcome this. I have to do this on my own. But I'm not okay, Luke."

"Talk to me," he said, his eyes looking at her intensely.

"I can't," she replied. "There is nothing I can say to you. Not now that you're married. Go home and call your wife if you want to talk. Don't try it on me."

"Fine," Lucas said with impatience. He turned and left her office, making sure to slam the door behind him. Peyton picked up a random CD and threw it at the closed door, needing to vent her frustration out on something. She didn't leave her office that night until the music at Tric had well and truly died down.

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><p><em>I know these are short updates but they're better than nothing! Not many reviews but I hope people are enjoying this anyway.<em>


	4. Chapter 4

A month later Brooke had a half smile on her face as she grabbed Peyton's hand. "What is it?" the blonde asked.

"I have done something and I am pretty sure you're going to be mad at me."

"What is it?" Peyton asked, feeling her stomach drop.

"I've set you up on a date," Brooke said, her eyes shining.

"No, no no!" Peyton said. "I am not going out on anymore blind dates."

"Please hear me out," Brooke said, leading Peyton to the laptop sitting on the kitchen table. She loaded a web page and Peyton found herself staring at her own picture on dating website.

"Brooke, I am going to kill you!" Peyton said forcefully.

"Give me a minute," Brooke said still tapping away on the keyboard. "There, look at that." A picture of an incredibly cute guy came up on screen. Almost black hair and dark smouldering eyes. He looked tall too. Peyton was about to say no way when she paused. He really did look gorgeous and Brooke could tell she was wavering. "I'm going out with his friend, and you're going out with him. At Tric."

"Oh no, Peyton said quickly. "What about Lucas?"

"He's married," Brooke said in a soft voice.

"I know," Peyton said harshly. "I remember. But he'll be at Tric tonight, Mia has a showcase."

"Exactly," Brooke said. "And you have to be there too. One of two things will happen. Lucas will see you with this guy and that's it, or he might actually be jealous. And even if he isn't you can't waste your life pining after him."

There was too much truth in this to ignore. Peyton nodded. "Okay then," she agreed. "I'll go and get dressed."

"Yes!" Brooke said happily. She almost skipped upstairs and couldn't wait for the guys to arrive.

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><p><em>Okay, I actually have a plot and know where this is going. I know its a tiny chapter but more will be up before the end of the day. xxx<em>


	5. Chapter 5

When the doorbell rang, Peyton was the one to answer it with Brooke's shout of, "I'll only be five minutes." Peyton took one last look in the mirror and she felt pleased with the way she looked. Her blonde hair was falling in soft waves around her face, she wore her favourite pair of jeans which hugged her figure just right, a cropped jacket with a low cut V neck shirt. Her thin silver necklace and teardrop earrings completed the ensemble. She had a brief moment of thought, wondering which man she was dressing up for but pushed the thought out of her mind. She opened the door and her breath caught. He looked even better in the flesh she thought. And his friend wasn't half bad either.

"Peyton? I'm Nick."

"Hi," she said with a smile. She turned to his friend. "Brooke will bee here in a minute. Brooke!" she shouted in the direction of her bedroom. "Sorry, but I have to turn up at Tric slightly early because of the showcase. So we have to go, is that okay?"

Nick nodded with a lopsided smile. "Sure." Peyton gave his friend a brief nod and then they both left, walking to her date's car. She hoped this would be an enjoyable evening, in more ways than one.

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><p>By the time they'd entered the club, Peyton was really enjoying herself. Nick had driven Lucas out of her mind for the first time in weeks. He was charming and not at all bad company. "Oh, I'm sorry," Peyton said as Mia looked at her with a panicked look on her face. "Get me a drink and I'll be back in a minute."<p>

"Oh, I've heard that line before," he said, a trace of insecurity creeping in. "Its fine, you can stand me up if you want. I can take it."

"No!" Peyton said so quickly, it surprised her. "Get me a drink and I will be back. That girl over there?" Peyton said pointing to Mia. "She's the performing artist tonight. I run her record label so I do need five minutes with her. Put the drinks on Peyton Sawyer's tab." That last comment seemed to mollify him. He smiled and she surprised herself by the genuine warmth she felt towards him. "Vodka and coke please. I'll be back." Peyton smiled again and weaved through the people now milling through Tric.

"What is it?" Peyton asked slightly breathlessly.

"Who is that on your arm?" Mia asked with a wide eyed look back at Nick.  
>"Is that what you wanted to ask me?" Peyton said. "No problems with the set list or the backing band or anything?"<p>

"No, who is that?"

"His name's Nick. Brooke set me up."

"Do you think Brooke can set me up?" Mia questioned a dreamy look in her eye. "I thought you were all sad and depressed over Lucas?"

"I am," Peyton said. "I was. Brooke pointed out that I can't spend my life pining after him, and she's right. So I'm testing the waters so to speak."

"Hmm," Mia said not really convinced. "You know that Lucas and Lindsey will be here tonight?"

"Yes and?" Mia raised her eyebrows. "Look, unless you have anything else to talk to me about work wise, I have a date I have to get back to."

"Enjoy yourself," Mia said with sincerity. Peyton rolled her eyes and walked back to the bar. It took longer because the crowd was filling up significantly. She saw Nick's eyes fill with relief when he saw her and felt pleased that he seemed to like her.

"Thanks," she said picking up her glass.

"Should I ask why a nice girl like you has a drinks tab at a bar in a club?" Nick asked.

"My office is right over there," Peyton said, pointing to the other side of the room.

"So this is more of a working date than anything else," Nick said.

"I run my own record label," Peyton said. "It isn't a nine to five job."

"But you love it don't you? I can tell."

"I do love it." Peyton agreed.

"But as you're working tonight," Nick said slowly. "Does that mean you owe me another date when you're actually free?"

"I guess it does," she replied easily. Her eyes were caught over the other side of the bar by a bright eyed Brooke. She looked very energetic and happy but her eyes were indicating to the far right. Peyton followed her eye line and saw Lucas and Lindsey chatting together in the corner. Lucas's eyes were fixated on her. She drew her eyes away from him so Nick wouldn't notice. She actually didn't want him to know that her original plan in being here was to make Lucas jealous. She surprised herself by how much she liked him. Before she could get further there was a loud cheer and Mia took to the stage. Peyton clapped her protégé loudly and Nick followed suit.

By the time "Heart in Chains" was halfway through she noticed that Nick was stroking her hair lightly. She didn't know how long he'd been doing it but it felt really good. When the applause came at the end of the song she turned and on impulse kissed him gently. Oh God, his lips were so soft, she thought. Her left hand rose to his face, feeling light stubble under her fingertips. It had been a long, long time since she had had a kiss this meaningful and enjoyable. She broke away reluctantly and her eyes fluttered open. There was a smile on her lips and moved in for another brief kiss.

She turned and watched Mia perform her next song, Nick's arms wrapped around her waist. It was at this point that she remembered Lucas had been watching her. She turned to the corner where he had been standing with his wife but there was no one there. She decided not to worry about it for the time being. Just to enjoy the moment.

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><p>Lucas was at the river court. He had told Lindsey that he just needed some time to play by himself when they had left Tric. The truth was he wanted time to think. And being at home wasn't helping him. He looked at his hand and concentrated on the brand new wedding ring he wore. It hadn't settled yet an still looked new. He loved Lindsey, he knew that but the total jealousy that consumed him when he saw Peyton kissing that man… He couldn't believe he could feel this way. So torn up with hurt and pain. And jealousy. A part of him wondered if he'd feel this way if he saw Lindsey with another man. Then he stopped thinking. This was doing him no good at all. He took aim with the basketball and threw it. It bounced off the hoop and rebounded into his hands. He screamed in frustration and threw it as hard as he could into the river. It made a splash and he ran his hands over his face in frustration. It was worse because he knew this situation was of his own making. He sighed, and still with his mind filled with Peyton, he went home.<p>

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><p>"I've had a great night," Peyton said as Nick walked her to her front door.<br>"You sound surprised," Nick said, squeezing her hand lightly.  
>"Well, the truth is I wasn't on that dating site," Peyton said with a smile. "My friend set me up, she only told me a few hours ago."<br>"Oh," Nick said with a small smile. "Are you glad you came anyway?"  
>"Yes, I am," she said. They had reached her door and she turned to face him. She picked her phone out of her jeans pocket. "Can I have your number?"<p>

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><p><em>As promised, a longer chapter. I actually have an idea of where this is going now but this is all I've written for the moment. When I have more I will post it. Hannah xxx<em>


	6. Chapter 6

Peyton had her headphones on in the recording studio, listening to her latest find. Clara Tyler, a blonde tiny waif with a really angry attitude. But she sang like an angel and her fingers caressed the piano like she'd found a long lost soul mate. It was clear that she loved her music. "That was great," Peyton said on the talkback. "Can we try "Break my heart," in a slightly slower tempo than last time?" Clara cursed under her breath but Peyton had worked with her long enough to know she wasn't serious.

Peyton listened intently and jerked when she felt a hand grab her shoulder gently. She pulled her headphones off and turned around as Clara kept singing. "Nick," she said as he smiled at her. "Oh, crap, dinner," she said with her eyes shut. "I'm sorry, I got distracted." He was still smiling at her which she took as a good sign.

He leant over her chair where she was sitting and kissed her gently. "Its okay," he said, his eyes sparkling at her. Peyton looked past him at her office clock. He must have been sitting alone in that restaurant for the best part of an hour before trying to find her.

"Oh, God, I had no idea of the time," she said. "I'm really, really truly sorry."

"I assumed you hadn't stood me up," he said sitting next to her. "I think you're the type of girl who would at least give me a call."

"I promise I will always call," she said with a smile. She turned when there was a rapping of knuckles at the glass. Clara looked really angry and she left the studio cursing the entire time. Peyton wasn't worried. She'd done this before and she always came back. Instead she turned to Nick. "Do you want to come back to mine?" she asked. He kissed her briefly and nodded, waiting for her to switch the computers and equipment off and lock up. Then they both went back to her place.

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><p>Lucas was on the river court throwing his basketball around when he saw them. Peyton driving her car home, Nick next to her and they were both laughing. He watched them steadily until she drove out of sight. He had genuinely come to the river court to play basketball. He hadn't come to keep an eye on things or watch out for Peyton's car. But now that he'd seen it, it was all he could think about. He continued to throw the ball around for about half an hour but his heart wasn't in it. He let the ball fall to the floor and got his phone out of his pocket and dialled a number. "Hi," he said carefully. "Listen, could you meet me?"<p>

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><p>Brooke walked onto the court, her heels clicking on the surface. "Well, I haven't had a late night call from you in a while," she said with a smile.<p>

"Hi Brooke," he said giving her a brief hug. "You seem to be here a lot lately," she said. Brooke hadn't visited the river court but whenever she drove by she seemed to see him there. "Why do you keep coming back here?"

"I'm just remembering how simple it all was. Back when we all lived on this court."

Brooke laughed out loud. She couldn't help it. "Lucas, if you think it was all simple when we were in high school, you clearly weren't paying attention."

He nodded, conceding she might have a point. "Did Peyton bring Nick home?" he asked in what he hoped was an easygoing voice. Brooke wasn't fooled.

"Yes," Brooke said in a sad voice. She didn't add that the sounds coming from Peyton's bedroom had been making it impossible to sleep as well as leaving very little to the imagination. Lucas was completely silent and thinking about Peyton with her new man and it wasn't creating any pleasant pictures in his mind.

He came out of his morbid thoughts when Brooke slapped his head. "What the hell are you doing?" she said exasperated. "She deserves to be happy. She needs to move on. We both know she was in love with you. Does she really deserve to spend the rest of her life missing you?"

"I know," Lucas said. "But…"

"No Lucas. There is no but," Brooke said. "You stood in a church and made your choice. You said you would honour and cherish and love Lindsey until the end of your life. You promised to love her above all others. You were the one who vowed in front of the world to keep her forever in your heart. Don't blame Peyton for your own choice. This is your fault."

"Thanks, that makes me feel better," Lucas said sarcastically. "I'm glad I called you now."

"Lucas, you know I love you," she said simply. "You're one of my good friends but you are a complete idiot. She is my best friend and she has been in pain for months. I'm not going to blame her for trying to be happy. And neither should you." Brooke bent down and picked up the basketball and threw it straight in the hoop. "Go home." Brooke turned and left the court. Lucas sighed because he knew she was right. He picked up the ball and went home to Lindsey.

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><p><em>Sorry for the delay, I've been sucked into spooks fanfiction again. Hope to get more up soon. Reviews do encourage me!<em>


	7. Chapter 7

Lindsey was lying in bed wide awake. Her husband still wasn't home. He kept staying out later and later each night. She knew where he was. She knew he was at the river court, not seeing someone else but this was meant to be the honeymoon period. They were meant to be giddily happy and do nothing but laugh and have sex and talk about their future. He wasn't himself lately and she was worried. It had not escaped her attention that Peyton had a new love interest either and she wondered if that was connected to Lucas's mood.

She didn't get further in her wondering when Lucas opened the door, putting his basketball down as he did so. "I thought you'd be asleep," he said in a low voice smiling at her. The smile didn't reach his eyes she noticed

"Talk to me," Lindsey said as he sat on the edge of the bed, kicking his shoes off. "I'm your wife. You should be able to talk to me."

"Its not that I don't want to," Lucas said shrugging his shirt off. "I just don't know what to say."

"Why do you keep going to the court?" Lindsey asked quietly as Lucas settled next to her. "You always liked it there and I get that but you're spending half your day there, every day. Should I be jealous of a basketball court?"

"No," he said, a genuine smile on his face this time. He put an arm around his wife as she settled next to him. "There's nothing to be jealous of. I go there to think. To clear my head, that's all."

"Is it Peyton?" Lindsey was brave enough to ask. "Is that why you need to think?"

Lucas sighed. "Partly," he admitted. "But no. I just like to go there, that's all. I'll stop if it really bothers you."

"No," she said. "It'd be nice if you got home before 2 am though." Lucas looked at the clock and was amazed to see the time.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I won't be this late again. I promise." Lindsey nodded in acceptance, knowing she wouldn't get anymore out of him tonight. She kissed his chest lightly and waited for sleep to take her.

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><p>The following morning Peyton woke up and stared at the ceiling. She'd slept with Nick last night. And it had been good. Great even, but he wasn't Lucas. There had been a connection between them last night but nothing compared to sleeping with someone you were in love with. And she didn't love him. Maybe one day, but not yet. She felt a hand touch her ribcage lightly and she turned, smiling at him.<p>

"Morning," he said lightly, kissing her lips briefly.

"Good morning," she replied running her finger over his chest lightly.

"Can you talk to me about Lucas," he said quietly. The smile froze on her face and her heart went cold. "Whenever he comes up you freeze. When I enter a room conversation comes to a grinding halt between you and Brooke. Talk to me about Lucas."

"He's married," she said shortly.

"That much I knew." Peyton wrapped a sheet around herself and got up, facing the window. She didn't want to look at him.

"I loved him. Once," she said looking out at the landscape rather than at the bed. "Our relationship was always very complicated. When I was in LA he proposed to me. But we were so young and that was the reason I said no. That pretty much ended our relationship. But then I came home. Honestly, if he hadn't been with Lindsey, we'd have probably got back together. But he was with Lindsey. And he proposed to her and he married her. It hurt me, I won't lie. But I moved on. I found you. And I'm happy. I am happy with you." She turned to him a small smile, pleased that he was still there and listening to this conversation. Or more of an explanation.

"Thank you," he said getting up and walking towards her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck, feeling the smile on her face. "Thank you for being honest with me."

"You deserve it," she said, turning in his arms and kissing his lips.

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><p>Peyton opened the fridge and poured herself some orange juice, sitting opposite Brooke. "Don't you ever go to work?"<p>

"Millie's there," Brooke said. "Besides, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Sorry," Peyton said, blushing slightly. "I didn't intend to keep you up."

"Its fine," Brooke said. "Its about time you got over Lucas."

"I'm not," she said quietly. "I feel like a… I feel like a whore."

"Peyton, don't be silly."

"He deserves so much more than me and I slept with him anyway. I'm in love with someone else and I slept with him. Nick's a good man but he needs someone better than me."

"Peyton, I…" Brooke was interrupted by a knock on the door. She sighed and opened it to Millie speaking a mile a minute. Brooke turned back to Peyton but already saw that her friends face had closed again. She'd had her openness of the day.


	8. Chapter 8

_Tiny little update as I haven't written any of this in a while. Hope it satisfies and there will be more soon..._

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><p><strong>Four months later…<strong>

Lucas woke up and was surprised to find the bed empty. He screwed his eyes against the bright sunlight burning through the room. Then he realised what had woken him. Lindsey stood with her back towards him and the wardrobe doors were open. She wasn't being quiet and she was taking all of her clothes out and putting them in a suitcase, resting where she slept on the bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lucas asked sitting up. She didn't look at him but continued to pack.

"I'm leaving you," Lindsey said simply. She shut the wardrobe and turned to the draws. By this time Lucas had thrown a shirt on and stood, looking at her.

"You're not serious?" he said bewildered.

"No, you're not," Lindsey said. "Serious, I mean, about me. I see the way you look at me. And then I see the way you look at her. I'm not a fool and I have too much self respect to stay with someone who becomes increasingly jealous of another man. You look at Nick and wish you were him. You feel a cold stab of jealousy when you occasionally see Peyton kiss him. I know you do. So I'm leaving."

"Lindsey," Lucas said slowly. "I married you. I chose you. I love you."

"I know you love me," she said, her eyes swimming with tears. "That's never been the problem Luke. But however much you love me, you love her just that little bit more."

"Lindsey," he repeated in a soft voice. He reached for her and held her face cupped between two hands. She had no choice except to look into his eyes. "Don't do this. Stay with me."

"I can't," she whispered. "I will always care for you and value these months we had together. Even though I know you wished I could be someone else most of the time." She kissed his cheek and his hands fell away instantly. She pulled her engagement and wedding rings off, holding them out to him. He took them both and looked at the metal circles sadly.

"I will miss you and tree hill," Lindsey said. "Honestly. Bye Lucas." Lindsey looked at him once more and his mid felt empty. He could think of nothing to say to make her stay. The door swung shut behind his wife and he could do nothing but stare at the wood grain. He had no idea how long he stood there, staring at the closed door. It was a long time before he moved, the rings cutting circles in his clenched fist.

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><p><em>Bit unsure which direction this is going to go in but more when its written...<em>


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